WHEN GOD WRITES YOUR LOVE STORY, HOW I MET MY FIANCE (MET AND ENGAGED IN SIX MONTHS)

I have always been a closeted romantic. I love love. For as long as I can remember, I dreamt of having a husband and being a mom. I pursued relationships relentlessly. Unfortunately, in chasing a fantasy, I lost myself, several times.

I can’t in good conscience ever tell someone, “do these five things to get the man of your dreams” because when I met mine, I realised that it was an undeserved gift from God. I did not earn it, I wasn’t the proverbial best version of myself.

I was just favoured by God. This is not a story of a woman who had it all figured out and then when she was ready, a wonderful high-value man with everything figured out just dropped from the sky. It is not the story of an ultimate feminine woman winning the ultimate masculine man. Rather it is the story of God, by His grace and love, making a perfect match of two imperfect people.

I first saw Adam at an online work event. At the time, I was in a serious relationship while he was just getting out of one. I didn’t even see his face until much later. I was facilitating a portion of the program and so while I was very visible, he wasn’t. He saw me and thought I was really cute. He said he felt a strong pull towards me and wished we could talk some more.

While I was facilitating the question and answer session, I was choosing random people to answer the questions, and without knowing what he was thinking, I chose him. I selected him purely because his profile picture looked serious and well put together and so I thought he would probably be able to answer the question adequately. Which he did. After the event, I returned to my life and didn’t think anything of it.

Meanwhile, I started having anxiety about my relationship. There were no problems but I knew that an engagement was coming soon and yet I had never quite had peace in my heart about the relationship from the onset.

I was afraid that I was making a mistake but I didn’t want to hurt the wonderful man I was with at the time, let’s call him Trent. Except that, the longer I was holding on, the more anxiety I was having and the worse I would hurt him. Trent and I spoke about how I was feeling and he was very understanding about it, giving me time to sort out how my doubts before moving on to the next step.

A few weeks later, a friend of mine called me and told me that his friend, Adam, was asking for my number. I immediately remembered him. Nonetheless, I told the friend not to give him my number and turned him down politely. My friend explained that Adam wasn’t looking for my number for any reason other than just being work friends, but I still said no.

Later that month, we were put in the same work WhatsApp group and I felt awkward having Adam there knowing I had snubbed him. I texted him to introduce myself and clear the air. We had a few polite conversations and I let him know early on that I was in a relationship. I didn’t want him to have any ideas. 

Meanwhile, my relationship with Trent remained on the same rollercoaster of uncertainty that it started on. One day Adam texted me about his struggles at work. I responded by explaining to him that I had experienced the same thing and how I was dealing with it. I think that conversation made me realise that Adam and I got along very well and thought alike. I decided to put an end to our communication before it developed into anything more.

I doubled down on my relationship with Trent and put all my focus, efforts and prayers into it. I was simply unwilling to let go of what I thought was the best relationship I could ever have. I was bargaining with God to make Trent the one. But the harder I tried, the more things felt off and we started having unnecessary conflict. Eventually, we broke up. I was devastated on the one hand but also relieved on the other because of just how unsure I had been about marrying Trent. 

After my breakup with Trent, I took two weeks just to pray and fast and strengthen my relationship with God. It was the most spiritually alive I have ever felt. I spent most of my time praying, reading the Bible and watching Christian videos on Youtube. It was amazing quite honestly. In prayers, I would often pray for Trent, asking God to take care of him and heal him, and I also prayed for my friends.

One Sunday while at church, praying, I remembered Adam and started praying for him as well. The following day, I texted him to ask him how he was doing. We exchanged a few texts that day and a bit more the following day and the day after that. I remember just being so amazed at this guy. I could hardly believe that a man like him existed, let alone, that he was pursuing me.

Adam texted me first every single day. We had so much in common, especially our love for discussing Biblical doctrine and other topics most people consider boring. It didn’t take long before we became best friends, sharing things we had never told anyone else. At first, I suspected that Adam was the one for me, but two weeks later, I can without a doubt say that I knew. Although we did take things slow, we both knew pretty fast that we were God’s will for each other.

I remember calling one of my friends, feeling crazy because I had just met this guy and I already felt like I was a part of him. We got along so well, we enjoyed each other’s company. We would spend hours on the phone without getting bored and for most of this time, even though we knew where we were heading, we just enjoyed the friendship. We had a really strong foundation of friendship before we finally started courting and it has really paid off. 

God was so intentional in bringing us together. One important thing to me was having a traditional home and it turns out that Adam wanted the same thing. When we met, we were headed in different directions, but I felt no resistance in my heart to set aside my plans and join Him in where God was taking Him. We both feel so blessed to have one another.

Our connection is truly unlike anything we have ever experienced with other people. We are both imperfect in so many ways, but our relationship has been truly inspiring even to our friends and family members. It has given so much hope to people who know us and it has taught both of us just how much God loves us, so unconditionally, that He would blow our minds like his.